Today.

* Played around with my online résumé.
* Made a trip to King's Greenhouse, which is like the Anthropologie of garden centers.
* Got completely addicted to digging around in the gnarled branches of my family tree.
* Watched my sister, Kati, be the rock star of her softball team as they won 17-0. She cracked that bat and slid into home like a champ (three times!). She got the game ball.
* Had a delicious meal on the porch of grilled salmon and dill potatoes with asparagus picked fresh from the garden.
* Talked to my dad about my pipe-dream business plan.

I have to say...it's good to be home.



Also:

Another one bites the dust.

Today is my first day of unemployment, since, well...ever! I went from high school to college, only quitting my job when I was about to leave for Chapel Hill. I maintained the same job as an office assistant from my sophomore year until I graduated. I interned, and the internship evolved into a job. I was an intern on a Friday, graduated on a Sunday and was an employee of Algonquin Books by the following Monday morning. I went from Algonquin directly to my last job, where I worked for about two years, until I got laid off yesterday.

Needless to say, I am at a turning point. My world has been flipped, in almost every way, these past few months. And I don't think it's an accident. I'm going to freak out a little bit and then dust myself off and start to search--for new opportunities, experiences and everything else life has to offer, and be open to the people and places that come into my path. I'm so thankful for everything I've learned so far, and all the people I've met along the way. I'm scared but also excited for what comes along.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know what happens.

India in film.

The colors, the costumes, the music...sigh...Also, I realize that three of the five films are ones directed by Mira Nair, but she blends Indian culture into everything so seamlessly--even into mid-1800s England--that her films are a perfect example. I'd love to walk around her sets...everything is just bursting with color.

Slumdog Millionaire





The Namesake





Darjeeling Limited




Vanity Fair





Monsoon Wedding

I cannot stop listening to this song.

And I’ve come to be untroubled in my seeking.
And I’ve come to see that nothing is for naught.
I’ve come to reach out blind,
To reach forward and behind,
For the more I seek the more I’m sought.
Yeah, the more I seek the more I’m sought.

The weekend is quickly approaching and I'm so excited for it. This is actually the first weekend in a while where I'm not driving to visit anyone and no one is coming to visit me. I plan on doing the boring (but necessary) house cleaning and laundry, and then filling up the rest of the time with early morning walks with the pup (it's going to be HOT this weekend) and my garden plans, and making delicious breakfast and endless pots of coffee. Maybe I'll spend my evenings hanging out with friends and my even later evenings being creative.

Since I'm constantly making lists and resolutions, I thought, why not add to my list of lists and do another?

New Life's Resolutions:
* focus on the garden
* local, organic, good foods (as soon as I polish off all the Easter candy from my folks)
* write in my journal for 30 minutes every day
* travel
* only listen to music that makes me feel like my insides are splitting open with joy
* try to cover every inch of my gorgeous city on foot, even if it takes a million walks
* be thankful

I don't know how many of these resolutions will be accomplished, seeing as how I have a penchant for junk food, laziness and television, but here's to hoping!

Happy Weekend!

Gardening.

I swear...Chronicle Books puts out the greatest books ever.

I just read about this new book, Garden Anywhere:



And I want it so bad. The word "budget" is such a sexy word in these times. Cheap? Maybe even free? SOLD.

Even though my mom is an avid gardener, I haven't tried it too much myself, until lately. Now I'm so excited about watering my herbs and perennials in the morning, checking their progress, watching them grow, inhaling their sweet and savory smells. Now I just want to keep going (my only adversaries are the horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE, mosquitoes that populate my backyard all late-spring-through-summer) and read everything I can about gardening.

I already have a trip to Lowes planned for the weekend so I can make the compost bin I've been daydreaming about for months. I'm going to base my project on this one.

Composting is so valuable. No more smelly food rotting in the trash can. Plus, that's less trash to take out. Less crap in landfills and more becoming rich, lush soil to grow delicious and beautiful plants!

Now, does anyone have any (environmentally friendly) ideas for the horrible mosquito problem? I'm looking into bird houses.

Things.

* Pitchfork released M83's new music video today:


* Today's a good day for sitting on the beach with friends and a certain dog (who we'll call "Schmaya") who is very keen on attention and digging in sand. And chasing. And being chased.

*Project Runway, Season 6 will be on Lifetime starting August 20 at 10pm, with a companion show, Models of the Runway, following at 11. If local rumors are correct, a Charleston boutique owner is one of the contestants.

* I've been rocking out to this lately:


* This dress makes me happy

* After a walk with the pup, I might make my fancy scrambled eggs and bacon. What alcoholic beverage best accompanies breakfast foods? I wish I had some bloody mary mix...

*Also, Weeds, Season 4, doesn't come out on DVD till June and I just saw the poster advertising Season 5. Sigh.


* My brain is all over the place today. Is that obvious?

My plans for today.

On this gorgeous, gorgeous day, I think I'm going to--

Plant some perennials, like this gladiolus:



Whip up some pasta Caprese to help use some of the massive amounts of basil I have:



And then pour myself a glass of wine and watch this movie:




I suddenly like Tuesdays!

Food, Inc.

I think everyone in America should be required to see this film:



I really need to start analyzing more of what I'm eating and drinking. Really, really.

Happy 60th Birthday, Harlequin!

I get a particular kick out of this because, working for a women's magazine, we get sent a lot of steamy novels and some of my friends enjoy me bringing them home so we can stage dramatic readings of them.



Please note Seth Rogan's reading at 3:32 and Paul Rudd's interpretive reading at 3:50. Enjoy! (And don't get too steamed up with all of the hot, steamy, hot, hot lusty, quivering lusciousness.)

Oh my sweet, sweet word.

When I grow up, I want to have a child just like this (speaking French, and all):


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.


Too much candy from Capucha on Vimeo.

Some things I'm alllllll about.

A friend sent me this video the other day and I can't stop watching it.

#67.2 - St Vincent - Marry Me
Uploaded by lablogotheque

This poem makes me fall in love with Edna St. Vincent Millay, all over again. (Thanks, Faith, for posting this and reminding me of why Edna is the bomb.)

"Sonnet II"

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide!

There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, — so with his memory they brim!
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of him here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering him!

Faith issued a challenge a while ago about posting a favorite poem, since April is National Poetry Month, and here's mine (I know that everyone knows this poem, but I adore it):

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
~ee cummings

Coco avant Chanel is about to be released in France and will hopefully hit the U.S. shortly after that.

I saw this photo in The New York Times and gasped with glee:


Here's the trailer (en Francais):


My friends came into town a few weekends ago, and one of those friends took a photo that I adore:

Maya tasting my foot.


David took the picture. Click HERE to see more of the wonderful things he captures.


Does anyone have any things that they are alllllll about?

I love these arty videos.

This song ("Trouble is a Friend" by Lenka) is so catchy. I sway back and forth to this song while folding laundry, washing the dishes and spending hours staring at myself in the mirror.

In a Dream

I need to see this.

Ah, Spring!

Want to see something beautiful and sad?

Sigh...

Oh boy.

I think this is the week for a nervous breakdown. Not really, but if I were a little less stable, I could definitely see it happening.

These past few days have been the kind where you come to after blanking out in front of your computer for ten minutes, and you kind of sit there blinking, like, "Where the hell was I?" Or you get 16 files emailed to you, and when you try to open any of them, they look like they've all been scripted in Wing-Dings or some other godforsaken font that makes you think your computer has been taken over by evil forces.

Then, today I got into a car accident with my own mother. She and my sister are visiting for the end-portion of Kati's spring break, and since I couldn't handle the fact that my car has been doing a note-for-note impression of a spoon in a garbage disposal, I thought it was a pretty solid time to get things checked out under the hood (literally, not figuratively). My mom and I got into a discussion about where to take the car. I wanted to go to a well-respected local place (Gerald's) and my mom wanted to go somewhere known for good customer service all over (AAA Auto Care). On the highway, about a block from AAA, my brakes gave out and I crashed into my mom. I hit my mother's car with my car. But I guess she kind deserved it, since she so strongly wanted us to go to AAA and then quoted me over $200-$300 more than Gerald's. Take THAT, Mom's mini-van.

So they made me call AAA to tow my car (from AAA) the three blocks between service centers. To make up for it, there's a person at Gerald's who I am thisclose to throwing my panties at, because he's nothing less than a rock star. So now I am throwing out almost $400, rather than almost $700, for my car to not be a grinding death trap any longer. Hurrah!

I'm taking tomorrow off to celebrate Good Friday as solemnly as possible (with beers on the beach, of course). And that's how I will probably spend Good Saturday and Good Sunday as well. Amen.

I'm going to shut down this mother with a song that I slow dance to in my living room. Ray-Ray always knows how to make a lady feel damn fine.

SNL

I always forget to watch SNL when it's on, but, thanks to Hulu I get to catch up with all the best parts.

The first seven-eighths of this are hilarious:


And, Phoenix played some songs from their upcoming album (Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix). Here's my favorite song of theirs, lately:


Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it in my bones.

Alice Waters

I am so intrigued by this woman. Most people know her as the founder of Chez Panisse in California, and most recently she's been in the news for convincing the Obamas to plant a White House vegetable garden as a symbol for the U.S. to take a new perspective on food.

I want to buy her book:


But, while I'm intrigued by the simple, wholesome recipes, I also feel a little discouraged. It's difficult to go to the source and make sure you're consistently getting local, organic ingredients (especially when you're a twenty-something with a limited budget and limited knowledge of HOW to go to the source). And, as powerful as the Slow Food movement is, I still love junk food. Sometimes I just crave a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and a Coke.



Whatever my difficulties battling my own love of junk, Alice Waters' passion for good food is something I want to cultivate in my own life. How cool is she?

This is such a fun video.

I saw this over the weekend and my Twitter friend reminded me of it and I had to share.


DEAD MAN'S BONES - "NAME IN STONE" on Vimeo.

You haven't seen their other video, you say? Well, you should. Here, let me help you:



The skies are very gray here and the air is thick with anticipation. Of what? A storm? A surprise? A sudden bolt of electric excitement that puts a snap into our spines, jolts us out of our little shells and makes us be a little something more? I hope so.

"I desire the simple things."

Life sometimes seems so complicated when we become grown-ups, doesn't it? Over the course of the past few days, I downloaded some of the songs that my best friends and I used to sing along to at the top of our lungs--windows down and the sunroof open--as we cruised around the city, fueled by cheap gas and Dairy Queen Blizzard sugar highs. What happened to those girls? For me--I got lost. I got lost in responsibilities, expectations, to-do lists, and trying the best I could to place a steady foot on the next step up to adulthood.

Now that some of those steps that I took have shown themselves to have majorly unsteady, I find myself looking back. Not that I want to regress back to my teenage years, because I don't. But I do cherish how much I lived in the present. I want to spend more time looking in instead of always out and up at my future. I'm going to try to do all the things that those self-help gurus say about "being in the present" and "living in the now." I am the worst worrier. I worry about whether it will rain, or whether Maya is lonely when I can't come straight home after work. I worry about whether I will ever be loved purely and unselfishly and whether I'll ever be strong enough to believe in that love. But why worry? (This seems like a simple question, but to me it is the same as asking, "But why breathe?")

I realize, though, that I can only live in the present. I can't change the past and I can't see the future. All I know for sure when I open my eyes in the morning is that I will get out of bed. I will have good moments and bad moments. Some days the good will outweigh the bad, and other days it will be the opposite. I will try to take steps when I feel that they're best for me, and not take them just because I think it's expected of me.

It's like learning to walk again. One foot in front of the other, down a long path, where you can only see the step ahead of you.

My first solo foray into filmmaking.

Obviously I have NO idea what I'm doing.




Maya, however, is a star. I see some natural talent for improv.

Today is the first of April and it's raining...

...so this poem was perfectly fitting.

"April Rain Song"


Let the rain kiss you
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops
Let the rain sing you a lullaby
The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk
The rain makes running pools in the gutter
The rain plays a little sleep song on our roof at night
And I love the rain.

~Langston Hughes