My Dream Girl Posse

I always talk about my "Girl Crushes." These women are the kind of women who fall in (at least) one of these categories:

a. I like their style
b. I find them to be uniquely beautiful
c. They have a talent that I envy
d. They are inspiring to me in some way
e. All of the above

I have decided to finally gather these lovely ladies here today. This list may grow or change at a moment's notice.


Zooey Deschanel

Fantastic actress, great style, singing voice that I would trade a kidney for, sings in a cabaret band called "If All the Stars Were Pretty Babies" and plays the ukelele. Need I say more?

Miranda July

Looks like a cherub, made Me and You and Everyone We Know, wrote No One Belongs Here More Than You, and is part of the art project Learning to Love You More. Not only that, but she is also part of this subscription art project called "The Thing" where an artist creates art on something usable. Miranda made a window-shade that says, "If this shade is down I'm begging your forgiveness on bended knee with tears streaming down my face." Perfect.

Mary-Louise Parker

Loved her in Fried Green Tomatoes, LOVE HER IN WEEDS. This woman is an all-around talented actress. Plus, she has overcome some serious difficulties in her personal life and seems to be all the stronger for it. I find that inspirational.

Rachel Roy

Smart as a whip, stunning, and her designs look half-modern, half-Grace Kelly.

Matt Pond PA, "So Much Trouble"

Heartachingly beautiful.

Georgia

"Poppies"


"Where I was born and where and how I lived is unimportant. It is what I have done and where I have been that should be of interest."

Painting and quote by Georgia O'Keefe

Mary-Louise Parker

Thanks to Netflix (my lifesaver, my lifeline, my happy ending)this woman is my new goddess. I love her.

The show, Weeds, is so incredibly awesome and hilarious.

If you don't know what it is, it's about this woman who is raising her two sons alone after her husband suddenly dies of a heart attack. When the show begins, she has already started her life as a pot dealer in this very typical California suburb, Agrestic.

When I first heard about this show, I thought, nah...this isn't for me. But I'm a huge fan of Mary-Louise, and now, with extra time on my hands and a free month of Netflix (with 4 movies at a time) I thought, "Why not try it?"

I'm so glad I did. Watching this woman try to piece her life together after an incredible loss...feeling overwhelmed and lonely, but managing, situation-by-situation, to get through it all, is actually inspiring.

I know that I, too often, find myself connecting to fictional people, but I love this woman. I want to sit down on her couch, in between her morning weed drop-off and her kid's afternoon soccer game, and pour out my life to her. And I feel like she'd understand perfectly.

And then she, her family, or one of her random friends or stoner buyers would do something hilarious and all would be right with the world.

WCBD-Channel 2

So apparently Kelly (Love Johnson) and I were on the news, riding our bicycles. Even after Kelly asked the camera guy, "Are you filming?" His response: "Nah."

Well, obviously he was.

Why am I always on the news for the most random things? One time, my church's youth group did a stupid thing of The Dating Game, and Steven Jaynes and I went on together and were the only ones of the 3 couples that weren't actually dating. We just acted stupid, but knew enough about each other that we won dinner and a movie. For some reason, a news crew was there, and when the news did a piece on "teen dating" they played clips of Steven and I talking.

I also remember being interviewed for something in the East Meck parking lot. I think Mr. Diggs, my AP Psychology teacher, won some award. I don't really remember, because I was so petrified with a microphone and news camera in my face that everything about that incident is completely blank.

I guess I should be thankful that I'm not on the news for any more dubious reasons. Look at me, Mama! Are you proud?

Overheard in New York...

Professor: Don't get too excited--I'm not putting you into groups. Yeah, I saw you all sitting there, looking around, thinking, "Which of these fuckers is going to do all of the work?"

--Fordham University


I miss college...

Happy Birthday, Shel.

"Where the Sidewalk Ends"
by Shel Silverstein

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Shel Silverstein was the first poet I ever read. His poems were humorous and sometimes serious, and seemed to perfectly say all the things I felt as a kid, but could never put into words.

Here is his poem that applies to my life most right now:

"Whatif"

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

"The Power of Wind"

So, Epuron, a German company that works with alternative energy sources, won the highest award (The Golden Lion) at the International Advertising Festival in Cannes for "best advertising spot" for their advertisement, "The Power of Wind."



The commercial is genius. I love Germany. I love alternative energy sources. I love commercials.

Fall Fashion

So, I decided to do some lusting over some Ready-to-Wear fashion. I scrolled back to Style.com's Fall 2007 shows and picked out a few things that I loved.

Vena Cava







Vena Cava has such great layering and shapes. I want the first outfit to be in my closet NOW.

I also loved Balenciaga.







I've been obsessed with this collection since I saw the Keira Knightley "Out of Africa" themed shoot in Vogue. The colors, the scarves, and the angles are perfection.

My favorite collection, however, was Rachel Roy. She is so tasteful and I love everything.





Perfect.

I looked through Rag & Bone's collection, and while the womens' fashions were nice, the mens' were FANTASTIC.







The last image is from Spring/Summer 2008, but it was too good to pass up. If guys dressed like this in real life, I don't know what I'd do with myself. Really.

Carmen Marc Valvo's entire collection was perfect. It was all structured coats and gorgeous cocktail dresses and gowns. Everything he does is perfect.

BCBG paired every outfit with sheer gray tights. I never realized how complementary gray is with most colors.

Does anyone have endless amounts of money to aide me in my clothing addiction?

Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

In the land of make-believe...

I don't know what kind of magic some stories hold for me, but somehow, certain books and films can transport me to a place of such comfort and safety. Even though Amelie, Emma, and Vianne (Chocolat) are characters created by some fantastic and creative individuals, part of me believes that they exist. That somewhere in life, people are this happy and people are that wonderful. I think, sometimes, it's what keeps me going.

Agnus Dei

Agnus dei
Agnus dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Agnus dei
Agnus dei
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Dona nobis pacem
Dona nobis pacem
pacem
Dona nobis pacem

There is no way to describe her since she wasn't created yet when all things were named. She is not a fish, nor a bird; she's more than a girl, she's less than divine. She lives without definitions, parameters, descriptors, and other such nonsense. She is the person that I keep wanting to be. More than wanting. Lusting to be. I want to be the "she" admired from afar. The secret of far-away admiration is that people never get close enough to you to hurt you. They smile and wink at you from a distance, much like stars. Close enough and all you feel is their searing heat on your thin skin, already burning. If I were this "she" I would dress myself in costume, every day. I would smile vaguely at everyone that passed, keeping my eyelids at half-mast. People would have debates: "Her eyes are blueish-brown." "No, I swear. They are sort of green with goldish glints." They would talk forever and a day about costume and colors of eyes and never be able to know anything else.

This is what heaven sounds like. Sad and clear and perfect and beautiful.

im looking r u anythig is good

I don't know if this is legible (it may be if you click on the image) but it just makes me curious about what kind of people exist in this world. I mean, really.

Seriously.

+




=


PERFECT.

Weekend!

So...I spent this weekend with Chandler and Penny.

We did fun things like: going to the beach, eating chocolate, taking walks, and talking about cheese.

This is us at the beach. I am trying to pretend that I don't have food in my mouth. But I have food in my mouth.


This is Penny. Yes, she always looks terrified.



This is me:

This is me again: (Notice anything different?)

Another time, another place.

Some of you are familiar with my small collection of oddities from working at Algonquin. I've decided that this is the perfect way to catalog the collection.

One such item:

A white, business-sized envelope on which the "To" and "From" addresses took up the entire front of the envelope. I's contents:

One small page, ripped out of a pocket-sized notebook, with these words written on it:

Algonquin Books

Do you have
other Books
on the Human
Brain
Parapsychology
Paraphysics

Beyond Heaven
Beyond the
Universe

Contacting Spirits
Following me
See and talk to the
Angels

Another fantastic item was a bit more...wordy. In a small, padded envelope (sized #2 for those of you familiar with office supplies) was a rolled-up pile of pages ripped from a spiral bound notebook. I've decided that I will enter in (word for word, spelling for spelling) some of these pages as I see fit.

Startiinnnnnngggg..... NOW!

This is the first page (handwritten, I might add) of the manuscript/journal/whatever it may be:

I want eveyone to know i have some sexiest, craziest sneakies stealer around, Think they can snoop around to see what the crziest thing's they can get, They also snoops around to see what everyone's doing. The sexiest thing's that this person knows it. Every craziest, snoopiest, sexiest people to know that it is wrong for them to do anybody wrong. Because some might know, but is not sure what anybody doing. It might sound crazy but some does do it, some think its cool to do stuff that they do. But they don't think before they do it, and they art to know tat it is not the snekiet thing they can do. This one has never been in a scariest place and this crazy person and that is me hopes i will never be in that place. I feel that any of these public places to have something too spy on every one. But there is one good thing that they do because of little kids that gets snatched. This coolest woman i think might be is not trying to hurt anyone just trying to be the coolest around. This coolest mom is trying to say the coolest thing where everyone will laugh at this stupid mom.

This picture illustrates our weekend perfectly, I think.

I want to find this person. I want to find them and meet them and find out whether they are crazy, crazy in love, or just 100% sane in a way that I will never be.