Monday, January 5, 2015

2015 & 31.

It's the eve of my 31st birthday, which means it's been nearly a year since I've written anything in this graveyard of a blog. So much happened in 2014:
  • I left Charleston after seven glorious years in the Lowcountry
  • I moved to a farm in Chapel Hill, North Carolina -- to a home that felt like it had been waiting for me
  • Steven moved to LA and after a few months, rushed right back to join me in the South
  • I got a new job that allowed me to do a lot of traveling 
  • Steven and I got engaged!
  • Close friends are moving around and having babies and taking big steps in the grown-up world
It was a good year and a necessary year.

But now I'm experiencing those annual waves of restlessness that come with a new calendar year and a new year of life. 

2015 feels fresh and clean, like the new journal I cracked open on January 1, waiting to be filled with experiences (including a wedding).  Just like every year, I promise myself that I'll write more and experience more and push myself more. I take inventory of my flaws (there are a lot...complaining, lack of motivation, urgh...) and tell myself that this is the year that I can do a lot of fixing on all those loose and creaky places of my psyche.

Besides the tinkering on all of my inner problem areas, I'm trying to really embrace those waves of restlessness. I keep trying to figure out how to catch them and channel them into something useful and BIG. Regardless of all of the hopping around I've done in life, I often have the feeling that I'm sitting in a giant cosmic waiting room, tapping my toes and watching the clock. This year is a year for action and for making something of my life and not just letting things happen passively. I feel scared and not ready and more than ready all at the same time.

Happy 2015, y'all. Let's make something.

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